Sitting with all emotions, not just the positive ones.
- rjmiller250801
- Oct 22
- 2 min read
Posted 22nd October 2025 by Rachel Miller
This is a topic that often comes up in sessions - the desire to experience positive emotions, moving away from those feelings that cause us pain or discomfort.
But why is it important to embrace all of our emotional experiences, and how can it help us in the long term?
It’s healthy to have a positive outlook - to see the good in situations, in ourselves and in others. But life can be messy, and difficult experiences naturally bring difficult emotions.
Sometimes I meet clients who place too much importance on staying optimistic even when they’re suffering (also known as toxic positivity). They focus on how they ‘should’ feel or behave, whilst quietly ignoring the negative emotions that lie beneath.
It can feel helpful in the short term, giving a sense of control, but over time this approach can cause harm, such as:
Feelings of shame or guilt around the emotions we’re actually experiencing.
Minimising the pain others feel, often out of good intentions or discomfort.
Bottling up what’s really going on inside.
Sometimes we have to temporarily set aside difficult emotions and that’s ok. But when we do this for too long, it can prevent the understanding, growth and support we need to heal and move forward.
What can we do instead?
Accept that all emotions – good or bad – are part of the normal human experience. When we listen to them, they can show us what needs care.
Practise self-compassion - it’s ok to not feel ok in this moment.
Support others without trying to fix or cheer them up. Listening can make a huge difference.
Be curious about your reactions. When you notice feelings without judgement, you start to hear what’s really underneath.
“Your emotions make you human. Even the unpleasant ones have a purpose. Don't lock them away. If you ignore them, they just get louder and angrier.” Sabaa Tahir
A FINAL WORD
Experiencing the full range of emotions is normal and part of being human. When we take the time to listen – even to the uncomfortable ones – they can guide us to a better place of understanding.
If you’re finding it hard to sit with certain emotions, you don’t have to face them alone. Sometimes simply talking about them can be the first step toward understanding.
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