What happens in counselling sessions?

Posted 15th October 2025 by Rachel Miller

Nik Shuliahin / Unsplash

If you’ve never tried counselling before, the idea of it can feel uncomfortable — even a bit scary. I remember that feeling well when I began my own counselling journey, long before I became a counsellor myself. Over the years, I’ve worked with a few different counsellors, each experience slightly different, but all deeply helpful in supporting my mental health.

I wanted to share a bit about what counselling was like for me — in case it helps to demystify the process for anyone considering it.

Finding the Right Counsellor

At first, finding someone felt overwhelming. I wasn’t sure where to start or what to look for. Eventually, I asked a few friends for recommendations and searched online for counsellors whose approaches seemed to suit me.

That first step of reaching out was the hardest, but once I did things began to feel a little more possible.

The First Sessions

When I met my counsellor, what stood out to me was their calm and impartial presence. They didn’t come with an agenda or assumptions about me.

Each session began simply — a warm greeting, a few minutes to check in on how I’d been feeling. That small ritual helped me relax and find my words.

Over time, the sessions became a safe, open space where I could talk freely about my fears, hopes, thoughts, and memories. The absence of judgement made it easier to be honest, and sometimes our conversations led to places I hadn’t expected to go. Those moments often brought the biggest insights.

What I Learned

Counselling helped me understand how my early experiences shaped the way I respond to the world. It gave me more empathy — not just for others, but for myself.

I came to appreciate the truth in the saying, “You never know the battles people are fighting behind closed doors.” My own process reminded me that so much of healing happens quietly, beneath the surface.

Progress didn’t always look obvious, but it was there. And I learned that everyone’s pace of change is different — and that’s ok.

Ostap Senyuk / Unsplash

Seeing Things Differently

Sometimes I’d arrive with a clear topic in mind, but our conversations often took unexpected turns. A single comment or reflection from my counsellor could shift my perspective completely — like seeing the same picture through a new lens.

Those new ways of seeing helped me grow in ways I couldn’t have planned.

A Few Final Thoughts

Counselling looks different for everyone. Some sessions feel light; others can be challenging. Both are part of the process.

If you’re thinking of giving counselling a go and feel unsure, that’s completely natural. Just remember that the first step doesn’t have to be perfect, how you turn up is always enough.

If you’re curious about counselling or wondering whether it might help, you’re very welcome to get in touch for an initial chat — no pressure, just a space to talk things through.

www.tonbridgecounselling.org